Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Joe Jackson
Is She Really Going Out With Him

Pretty women out walkin' with gorillas down my street
From my window I'm starin' while my coffee goes cold
Look over there
There's a lady that I used to know
She's married now or engaged or somethin', so I'm told

Is she really going out with him?
Is she really gonna take him home tonight?
Is she really going out with him?
Cause if my eyes don't deceive me
There's something going wrong around here

Tonight's the night when I go to all the parties down my street
I wash my hair and I kid myself I look really smooth
Look over there
Here comes Jeannie with her new boyfriend
They say that looks don't count for much and so there goes your proof


But if looks could kill
There's a man there who's marked down as dead
Cause I had my fill
Listen you take your hands from her head
I get so mean around this scene
Hey, baby


Something going wrong around here
Something going wrong around - here

** this song is probably the first song i ever taped off the radio to cassette and listened to lots as a child. i would have been around seven or eight. I LOVED it. I only remembered this when I heard it on the simpsons last night.

Friday, November 21, 2008



Me and some friends of mine
We stayed up all night taking truth serum
We soon realized the mistake we made
And went our separate separate ways.

I went up on the roof
Where I thought Id find some truth
There beneath the stars
But questions followed me

Do you miss me, when I go
Honey I love you and thats
all you need to know
Well then, what is love
Love is an object kept in an empty box
How can something be in an empty box
Well well give me another shot
Of that truth serum

I went back downstairs to
check on my friends
Because truth has a way of beginning an end
Big Bruiser Ken walks in says
I like men
I excuse myself and go back
up on the roof again
More questions follow me

Is death really the end
Honey I love you and that's
all you need to know
Well then, what is life
Well thats a good song
(sings) Without you by my side.

Taking that serum

People people theres a
lesson here plain to see
Theres no truth in you
Theres no truth in me
The truth is between
The truth is between

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

(volume one)

  1. Seth Rogen & Katherine Heigl - Second Date
    Knocked Up [MP3]
  2. April March - Chick Habit
    Death Proof [MP3]
  3. Bow Wow Wow - Aphrodisiac
    Marie Antoinette [MP3]
  4. The Cars - Just What I Needed
    200 Cigarettes [MP3]
  5. Simple Minds - Dont You Forget About Me
    The Breakfast Club [MP3]
  6. The Shangri Las - Leader Of The Pack
    Goodfellas [MP3]
  7. Dean Martin - Sway
    Sexy Beast - [MP3]
  8. Owen Wilson - Dont Give Up On Us Baby
    Starsky & Hutch [MP3]
  9. Smog - Cold Blooded Old Times
    High Fidelity [MP3]
  10. Leonard Cohen - The Future
    Natural Born Killers [MP3]
  11. Mos Def - Brown Sugar (Fine)
    Brown Sugar [MP3]
All these songs are great but I highly recommend having a listen to April March's version of Chick Habit (catchy & fun) , Smog's Cold Blooded Old Times (sad & lonesome) & The Shangri Las Leader of the Pack.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


louis armstrong first sang this song on a james bond soundtrack, it was later covered by many artists, from iggy pop to my bloody valentine.

its dreamy any which way you hear it...
an interesting side note.... in 2005, a BBC survey showed it is the third-most-popular love song played at weddings.

Monday, November 17, 2008

lover lover
songs from the past

  1. bo diddley - she's fine - mp3
  2. etta james - i'd rather be blind - mp3
  3. five royals - standin' in the shadows - mp3
  4. the ronettes - be my baby - mp3
  5. bobby hebb - sunny - mp3
  6. al greene - let's stay together - mp3
  7. johnny cash & june carter - if i were a carpenter - mp3
  8. patsy cline - i go walking after midnight - mp3
  9. wanda jackson - hard headed woman - mp3
  10. sakura & the quests - my boy lollipop - mp3
  11. fontella bass - hold on - mp3
  12. diana ross - upside down - mp3
  13. dolly parton - jolene - mp3
bonus - elvis costello - my funny valentine - mp3

People have been singing love songs since the begining of time. Here is a bunch of songs that I happened to have handy that fall into two categories, love & old.

Some, older than others starting with Bo Diddley singing "She's Fine", his voice is amazing, husky, pained and strong it sounds a bit like an instrument in itself, a horn (much like Billie Holliday, who I didnt include in this compilation for some reason).

Second up, a song that was on a compliation given to me recently by a friend, Etta James doing "I'd Rather Go Blind". Beautiful & heart wrenching all in one.

Five Royals up next with "Standing in the Shadows", keeping in the theme of seeing your loved one with someone else, these guys croon about watching your baby kissin' on someone else.

"Be My Baby"
, by The Ronettes, a classic and slightly lighter than the heavy stuff we have delved into so far, which brings us to "Sunny" the 1966 hit, another "you've made my world an amazing place yay!" song.

After Bobby Hebb clears the rain and pain, Al Greene croons "Lets Stay Together" arguably the most romantic song in the history of the world. One day someone is going to sing this to me and I am going to marry them instantly (that and the Charles in Charge theme song I have just been reminded).

How can there be a compilation of songs about love without an inclusion from the late great loved up couple that was Johnny Cash and June Carter?! I chose this one because its about long standing love, I'll stick by you through the shit or yay moments of life...

"I Go Walking After Midnight" is probably about the girl who is probably in love with a guy like The Man In Black (the aforementioned Johnny Cash) I contemplated a whole heap of Patsy Cline songs to throw in here, she was the Queen of Unrequited Love (as crowned by me) but for some reason this one called out to me.

Wanda Jackson
takes us into some real rock'n'roll babe stuff - "Hard Headed Woman" is I daresay one dedicated to most women by their exes heh.

I couldnt resist including Sakura & The Quests doing a cover of "My Boy Lollipop" in Chinese fron 1967 (I am totally obsessed with her, you can download a whole album here).

Next up, some smooth soul stylin' from Fontella Bass (famous for the 1965 hit "Rescue Me") doing "Hold On". Maybe not the most innovative lyrics (Hold on, hold on, hold on baby dont let go) but they certainly drive the point home.

Second to last, the amazing Ms Diana Ross doing "Upside Down". Those of you that know me will have some understanding that this song makes me happy, I cant sit still when its on and it makes me want to shake my butt.

Last on the list is "Jolene" by Dolly Parton. This song is probably the saddest love song in the world. Ever. Period. It sounds all boppy and twangy but listen up to the lyrics and your heart just breaks for this woman begging for Jolene to not take her man.

Bonus track isnt on the offical list because technically its not old, but its a cover of an old song. Elvis Costello doing a cover of "My Funny Valentine". This is another one of those amazingly hopelessly romantic songs, essentially he is telling his lover that they are far from perfect but he loves them just the way they are. Gag + loveheart.

please feel free to leave me any thoughts comments etc!

(ps - apologies i made the mistake of using rapid share to host the files, this makes you wait for 60 seconds before starting the download. I will use something else next time, in the meantime let me know if there are any problems or if you want me to burn and post you the compilation instead!)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

morning after songs

1) Betty Davis - If I'm In Luck I Might Get Picked Up
2) Liz Phair - Fuck and Run
3) PJ Harvey - Who The Fuck
4) Carissa's Wierd- One Night Stand
5) Sonic Youth - I Love You Golden Blue
6) The Go Betweens - Bachelor Kisses
7) Steely Dan - Reelin' In The Years
8) The Shirelles - WIll You Love Me Tomorrow
9) Billie Holliday - Good Morning Heartache
Martha Wainwright – Bloody Motherfucking Asshole
11) The Velvet Underground - Sunday Morning
12) Iggy Pop - I Wanna Be Your Dog
13) AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long
14) Motorhead - One Night Stand

(unfortunately at this stage im having trouble finding mp3s of all these songs, so you will have to settle for youtube vids for some)

1) Betty Davis - If I'm In Luck I Might Get Picked Up
You're still kind of drunk. You think its funny that you just had a one night stand. You are still in this strangers room (or even worse, a friend, so this is going to be really awkward) and this song comes on the radio. You cant help but laugh. This hot piece of lady style was married to the late great Miles Davis, and was muse to many a fucked up composition. She IS sex.

you can download a couple of other Betty Davis tracks here

2) Liz Phair – Fuck and Run
The title really says it all with the first track. You pop your headphones in before you even walk out the bedroom door, hair disheveled, and hopefully Ms Phair's singing will drown out any good mornings from roomates that are making breakfast. As one random blogger said about this song " Its from a time when Liz still had balls". May take a couple of listens, but you'll soon find you wont walk out of a one night stand without thinking of this song.

You can download a the mp3 of Fuck and Run free and legally here. Or you can watch a live version of it on youtube

3) PJ Harvey - Who The Fuck
You've made it to the front door without any awkward interactions. You walk to the front gate and the sun hurts when it first hits your pupils and you wish you had your sunglasses. This is when your first hint of regret starts to really kick in. Listening to PJ repetitively scream "who the fuck do you think you are
get outta my hair"

makes you remember at some point in the evening you managed to pull a "Theres Something About Mary"
and get that stuff through your luscious locks.

4) Carissa's Wierd - One Night Stand
In at number four was going to be Janis Joplin's - One Night Stand, while I was looking for it I stumbled across this little gem that I hadnt heard in years. Carissa's Wierd formed in Seattle in 1995, and created some beautiful harmonies and shoe gazey goodness before members formed solo projects and Band Of Horses. Together for a short time, this beautiful piece is for when you have finally gotten into the cab, or on the bus, or into your roomates car as they picked you up from the corner and you just want to close your eyes and drift off nodding along to the lyrics...

"This really isn't like me at all....."

MP3 can be found here

5) Sonic Youth - I Love You Golden Blue
While this song doesnt literally denote the one night stand, its dreamy regret tinged vocals seem to seep into your brain with lyrics like
"Is it time to go, Its a place I know,
I cant read your mind,
I cant find the time,
I cant feel the thrill,
I cant find the will...."
The perfect song to get dragged into your own thoughts.

The Go Betweens - Bachelor Kisses
Bachelor Kisses is for when you've just gotten home and youre thinking about your ex. Its dreamy, pretty and hits you with imagery of love, lust and promises made with lyrics like
"The world of men don't mean a thing,
when all they give you is a diamond ring,
don't believe what you've heard,
"faithful" is not a bad word"

You can feast your senses on this one here

7) Steely Dan - Reelin' In The Years
While you're feeling nostalgic "Reelin' In The Years" will take you back to everything you've done, never done, wanted to do. A contemplative classic.

8) The Shirelles - Will You Love Me Tomorrow
I mean now you are full of regret. That person you slept with is never going to call. You probably dont even want them to. Your ex keeps popping up into your head and your whole body is sore. You walk up the driveway to your front door and turn the key hoping that the soothing sounds of these beautiful ladies who are feelin' your pain will make it all seem better....

9) Billie Holliday - Goodmorning Heartache
You've made it to bed. Your own bed. Sweet, sweet bed. You are ready to crash. Billie Holliday sings you to sleep, all those emotions coming up... Goodmorning Heartache indeed...

I found an mp3 of this song on the beautiful motel de moka music blog... you can download it here

10) Martha Wainwright - Bloody Motherfucking Asshole
You wake up two hours later. Everything hurts... You press play on the stereo and Martha greets you with lyrics like

"Poetry has no place for a heart thats a whore,
And I'm young and I'm strong
But I feel old and tired,
Over Fired"

Punctuated with "You bloody Motherfucking Asshole" every second verse over and over you get up and make some coffee..

You can download this track here

11)The Velvet Underground - Sunday Morning
As you drink your first coffee for the day and light that much needed cigarette, you settle into a haze of reflection on the last 24 hours. You wonder, did I really go home with *that* person? And your brain here has three options
1) I wonder if I like this person. Am I ever going to see them again? (and yes, I realise I could have inserted "The Angels" here but I've chosen not to, it just wouldn't keep the right mood)
2) Oh my god this is going to be so fucking awkward when we see each other again...
3) What was his/her name??!?

The Velvet Underground's Sunday Morning will surely help facilitate these thoughts.
You can download the track here or you can watch the youtube below.

12) Iggy Pop - I Wanna Be Your Dog
At some point, possibly somewhere between your first and fouth cigarette things start looking up. But you the memories of the possibly depraved things you did the night before start creeping in... and what better track that
Iggy Pop's I Wanna Be Your Dog to help ease those memories in.

You can download this one here

13) AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long
As you get out of the shower, you realise that its kinda hysterically funny that you slept with "Insert Person" here. And you start to enjoy the memories of the night before. You walk into your room and the radio is playing this song. Perfect. Hahaha.

You can download a copy of this one here.

14) Motorhead - One Night Stand

Finally, after being washed and dressed you're ready for the day. Tinged with regret? Hardly. You head out for afternoon beers with these lyrics in your head

"Love, at first sight, love with a travelling man,
I been a slut all my life,
Wish every night was a one-night stand."

for some reason the go betweens youtube link is posting twice. i think it just means youre meant to enjoy it again!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Dear readers, this piece was written for a friends zine. I wish to point out that it is entirely fictional, I have taken stories and ideas and created an article that may be entertaining to read and no point is meant to offend or mimic anyone or any situation, past or present.

This article was prompted by my most recent Halloween costume. I dressed as the “Crazy Ex Girlfriend Everyone Has Dated At Some Point – She looks normal, but will probably kill your cat”.

So recently you started seeing a really lovely boy. Handsome, funny, in the right age bracket and he likes the same music as you. (see previous article – titled “Elitist Bitch”). There comes a moment where one of you initiates “The Talk”. A serious moment in any casual fling, a moment to assess if you are taking it to the next level or merely going to be “Just Friends.” “Just Friends” can potentially suck, because it makes all interactions thereafter awkward, even if you swear it won’t be on either ones part. Or, “Just Friends” can be amazing, you both move on, run into each other and flirt and giggling, having a little in joke that no one else understands as you have seen each other naked, and discussing the weather now is really not a big deal. But there is a whole other article in that alone. So whilst you are enjoying each others company, the non-stop text messages, the constant flirting even sometimes, the sex…. One of you inevitably freaks out and needs to know what exactly is taking place between the two of you. Sometimes, he freaks out because you’ve spent more than two nights hanging out in one week and is terrified of commitment thus he hits you with a variant of the “Its Not You, It’s Me.” You, being too caught up in enjoying this relatively casual affair assume that because things had been going so well that this conversation was not coming, that you would both meander along, until something gave. Well gentle reader, something did give, before you were even on the scene… He explains that he is sorry, but that he just got out of a bad relationship and he isn’t ready to get involved. This response is also known as “My Ex Is Crazy and humans of your gendered persuasion terrify me right now.”

Dear “The Crazy Girl” - Thankyou for fucking it up for the rest of us.

I did some research into what defines the crazy girl. According to popular culture, as seen in the hit TV show “How I Met Your Mother” she has crazy eyes. She appears normal, but underneath that sweet exterior and pearly teeth (she has almost certainly had braces at some point in her life, even worse, she has had them as an adult) is a glint in the eye that says “If you leave me I will break into your house and piss on your bed.”

So I started doing some research into what characteristics it would take to really scare a boy from wanting to commit again.

Here is a list of warning signs –

* She says I love you within the first week of the relationship.
* Her ex approaches you and wishes you good luck.
* She rotates friends annually, and has no friendships that have lasted longer than two years.
* She is obsessed with any of the following people – Oprah, Dr Phil, Tony Robinson.
* She has changed her name legally more than once.
* She has been engaged three or more times.
* She doesn’t like ANY animals.
* She has more than four pets and is obsessed with them.
* If on your first real date she pulls up the back of your shirt and rakes her fingernails across your back and says 'better get used to it”
* The first time you ever have sex she does any of the following – pulls out a collection of vibrators, she puts on the CD to your band or starts with any S & M activity that is heavier than “light play”
* She constantly broods over her intense hatred for her father.
* She finds this article offensive.
* She has been on a diet that has involved eating only up to three kinds of food for an extended period of time (i.e. – eating nothing but cheese for a month).
* She has ever had a restraining order taken out against her.
* She has a really boring name that is usually shorter than 5 letters that sounds right with the word “Psycho” in front of it. Try it, “Psycho Kate” and” Psycho Sam” both work, but something like “Psycho Michaela” or “Psycho Penelope” not so much huh?

Girls, if you do three or more on the list above you should really reconsider your approach to dating, because you are one of the ones potentially ruining it for the rest of us. Boys, if you are seeing someone with five or more of the above traits please leave the country for your own safety.

There are a few categories of ex-girlfriends that may explain why your casual boy wishes to end it before its even begun.
The categories are as follows-

The Crazy Ex That Compulsively Lied To Save The Relationship
The relationship seems to be not working, there is constant fighting, the sex has stopped and The Crazy Ex That Compulsively Lied To Save The Relationship can see his eye starting to wander. Drastic measures are taken to “save” the relationship. Often the following are on the agenda “I am dying” (much like Royal Tenenbaum in the indie hit movie “They Royal Tenenbaums”) and the piece de resistance, “I am pregnant.” Once it’s all passed and the boy realises that she didn’t die, and that there is no baby and those weeks spent worrying about his impending fatherhood were not real or necessary I daresay he will not be interested in starting a new relationship any time soon. Casual or not.

The Crazy Ex That Cheated
This girl left him like a Hank Williams song that had been fucked in the arse by Loretta Lynn with a giant dildo using no lube whatsoever. She broke his heart. He had been loyal to her for years and walked in on her fucking his best friend (or brother – totally interchangeable). Or she could have cheated many times, starting with an innocent drunken kiss with a friend that went too far or maybe ended with confessions of gang bangs on school buses for pornographic purposes. It doesn’t matter. He felt dumb, used and hurt. He is not ready to trust anyone again. Including you.

The Crazy “Stage Five Clinger” Ex.
As described by Vince Vaughn oh so eloquently in the movie “The Wedding Crashers,” there is the girl that clings. With her whole being she drags the man into co-dependence like Tarzan into quicksand. All girls can border on being The Crazy Stage Five Clinger Ex, you sleep with a guy a couple of times, he doesn’t return your calls or messages and you start freaking out thinking you’ve done something wrong. Ultimately the male in this scenario has a responsibility to not freak out and act like a boy and have the insight to see the fine line and whether it has been crossed. A guy that has suffered from The Clinger may repeat stories of how she showed up unannounced on his doorstep wearing nothing but a fur coat and a bow around her neck the day after they met, she made plans solid plans to meet his family after the first week, or perhaps even showed up at his work with a coffee for him which is nice at first but then she shows up at his home again that afternoon. And then again the next day at work. A long term Clinger is something else altogether. She can’t make decisions without consulting him; she freaks out and bans his monthly night out with the boys, she whinges to no end about band practices or football games or anything that doesn’t involve her and only her. She also constantly checks his emails and Facebook to see what he is up to. Once this guy has broken free of the clutches of The Crazy “Stage Five Clinger” Ex he will almost certainly always choose having his new found freedom over sex. You lose. Again.

The Crazy Ex Who Ate His Soul aka The Bitch
This one uses her boy like Cassius Clay would have used Sonny Liston, like a personal punching bag. He loves her, she loves him, and therefore he must put up with her shit. He picks up the fork wrong and she almost comically slaps his hand. She loves to start arguments in public. She hates visiting his family. She “jokingly” tells him to shut up in front of people. She flips out when he buys her the wrong birthday present. She slowly chipped away at his soul, belittling him, and making him feel inferior (whether just by habit, or by some roundabout way to make herself feel better). Essentially she is emotionally abusive, but she describes herself as being “High Maintenance.” These relationships can often go on for long periods of time before the man leaves, or even worse, she leaves him telling him he is not good enough, as from the outside it is difficult to see just how crap it really is. This one is off the market for a while till he rebuilds himself or discovers that they aren’t all like that.

And finally there is the one that any of the above could have become -

The Crazy Ex Who Went Psycho After The Breakup
Lady readers looking here for advice, if the boy you are trying to have relations with, be it casual sex or marriage, has come out of one of these, walk the other way. This man is terrified. You can see it in his eyes. They dart around wondering if The Crazy Ex Who Went Psycho After The Breakup is going to step out from around the corner to scare you off, or to stab him. He gently broke it off, he understood, held her hand, was patient and explained with all sincerity that it wasn’t her, it was him, and that he wanted to be “Just Friends”. Something broke inside her. She raged and roared and acted like the snakes on Medusas head. Seething she threw his stuff out the window, broke his first guitar, set his records on fire. She would appear in his front yard at 3am calling “Here kitty kitty” and ensure he saw her petting his beloved 12 year old tabby. She cried and wailed and blamed him and everyone in the world. She showed up whenever he was on dates with new women and told them he left her pregnant “as a joke.” It makes you wonder though, what exactly made her snap so hard? What was it about this man that broke this admittedly already fragile psycho? Maybe it is wise to just walk away after all….

Essentially, ladies, not all is lost if you have been one of those women. Please, for the love of casual sex and the potential for it to grow into something even more beautiful, chill the fuck out. I call on thee to change your ways, see the light, realise that there is plenty more where that guy came from and you are probably better off without him.

Don’t ruin it for the rest of us!

And gentlemen who are caught in this predicament, too scared to move forward, give yourself a period of time to heal, and if after tha you haven't yet, then man the fuck up and get over it, not all girls are like that and if you were man enough to stand up to The Crazy Bitch in the first place instead of pussying out like you are doing right now by not embarking on this new adventure you wouldn’t be here in the first place.